oh sh*t.

16 Oct

I take pride in knowing myself and in being confident with my wants, needs, passions, and desires.

I truly enjoy spending time with myself, soaking in the beauty of the ups and downs of everyday life, reveling in the love and support that I am so lucky to count on.

But recently, I have come to realize that I am afraid, ok terrified, of being single.

The majority of my adult life has been spent in the company of two longterm boyfriends and a handful of suitors who seem to swoop in right as I let go of my most recent significant other. It’s been fun and I have been fortunate to have met and gotten to know some really incredible people, but it’s also been safe.

I know who I am in a relationship but I can honestly say, I have no idea who I am as a single 29-year-old woman.

Since Mr. A and I split up in June, I have buried myself in my work (thank goodness for promotions!) and focused on busying myself and Miss Mayhem with trips, hikes, swims, car rides, and finding new crushes to focus on while I healed and tried to find some balance in the chaos. Throughout the last four months, I am pretty sure that “OH SHIT” was written across my forehead more often than not, my eyes open wide in fear and my energy a bit erratic.

All I can say, is thank goodness for VBGFs who help you come to realize that you’re being a bit crazy, that being single is an amazing learning opportunity and THANK GOODNESS for crushes who do not return your affections :).

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