I’ve been feeling a little unsettled these days; as though the edges of my usually clear-cut silhouette are blurred, just a bit out of focus.
Restlessness is common for me this time of year. The end of the season brings a let down that, though I have been counting down to since the end of February, always hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s like I am still sprinting to the finish, but the finish already came and now I am just running in place…waiting on the next race.
I had that realization of running in place today, walking back to my office after my final meeting of the day. It was our bi-monthly Breck Leadership team meeting; a quick catch-up with other Breckenridge senior leaders that is generally centered around resort happenings; though by happenstance, today’s discussion was centered around accountability.
Accountability. Seems like a fairly simple concept. I mean we all need and hopefully have a support system that we trust enough to hold us accountable for our actions, our emotions, and for reaching our goals. But for some reason the concept of holding myself accountable was shocking.
I’ve always considered my leadership skills to be on par with or above the abilities of those around me. But it dawned on me that while I’ve been busy running in place, I have forgotten to hold myself accountable for my own actions, emotions, and goals. I have been so busy trying to find the next race that I haven’t stopped to feel and see the big picture of life around me. Of the importance of being kind and available to my staff, and my friends, and my family. Of the beauty of the mountains in the springtime as towering thunderheads roll over our stately peaks and back into town. Of the excitement (and frankly, terror if you are as frightened of mountain animals as myself…) of a baby moose and its mama lumbering down Main Street greeting a new day as the sun’s bright rays dip down and touch the valley floors.
I let myself get wrapped in not feeling, or perhaps feeling too much, that I forgot to take a step back and breathe and tune into the feelings and emotions coursing through my body. Because as important as it is to keep up with day-to-day demands, it’s just as important to hold yourself accountable for running away from day-to-day demands.
Besides, running in place can be pretty lonely. Not to mention, very dull. It’s way more exciting to come face to face with a moose as you leave your garage than it is pretending as though that moose doesn’t exist.